in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
