You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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