I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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