that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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