I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
