He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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