my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
