I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
