So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
handjob tips. give me some.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i think my cat just said my name.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
