She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
