you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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