The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
whose parrot is this?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
