are you still at the devil's house?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
operation have a gay friend backfired
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yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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