if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
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Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
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Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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