forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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