Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
