I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
