when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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