I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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