just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
