you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
