Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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