so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
