so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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