Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
