it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
love makes seman taste better
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
