I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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