My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize