Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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