I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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