He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
