I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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