Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize