My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
