after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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