there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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