I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
