whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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