Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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