I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
