i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
