My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
