$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
