I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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