uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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