My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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