Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
