I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I understand Curling. That high.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize