Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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