Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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