Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
