I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize