Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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