How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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