Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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