he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
