dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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