How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
