How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
