Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Randomize