if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
