There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
