Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do herpes really smell.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
